Yo Teach

I've neglected to discuss a very large area of commitment that has taken over my life: teaching. I think it has a lot to do with the the fact that teaching is totally masochistic, and I was a little embarrassed to admit my desire to destroy myself even more slowly and painfully than if I were just in lab all the time. But what the hell, here I am. Teaching.

Last semester I was responsible for a single lecture in a graduate-level course. As with everything I do, it ended up taking a lot longer to prepare the lecture than I originally thought. I had to learn some things, re-learn some things, and try to keep it from being stuffy but thorough at the same time. I thought very hard about all the things I complained about my first year in grad school in regards to shitty courses and aimed to do the opposite.

According to the class feedback, I succeeded. They loved it. I was so fucking happy, because this time I felt like it really counted. The people here in the lab tell me that I'm a good teacher, but I can't help but feel that they are blowing smoke up my ass. To hear it from an unbiased source through anonymous evaluations really meant a lot.

Then they took my portion of the exam.

The other instructors did multiple choice, but not me. And holy fuck did they bomb my section. I failed 2/3 of the class while two people received 100%. The reason that they failed was that they didn't answer the question that I asked. I have to know - how the fuck do you NOT answer the question? I don't understand! It was infuriating. I mean, the exam was open book and open note. What the fuck?? It was very disheartening and it totally deflated me. But damnit, I'm not dropping my standards.

So I found out earlier this week that I am now one of the co-organizers of the course for this year. I also found out that we have to completely overhaul the course and build it back from the ground up.

What have I done? At least I will be making bartenders and brewers very happy for all of 2011.

Shit.