So The Vomit Paper was not rejected. Holy fucking shitballs. I sincerely thought that the motherfucker (and his minions) who made me look like an asshole during a plenary session at our field's major conference would have shredded it. I mean, the dude stood up on the stage and - before he started his talk - specifically stated that my results were not possible. Who does that shit? A motherfucker.
Alas, the reviewers had just a few simple revisions. Awesome.
The problem is that I have to do more experiments. These experiments are not working. Fuck Murphy and his fucking law. Fuck my damn cells for not behaving. Fuck Invitrogen for backordering essential materials to finish my shit. Fuck the lack of good antibodies. Fuck. FUCK!
I am taking a few days off for vacation. No matter when they are scheduled, or how short they are, vacations always fuck up everything. Like now, for instance, as I hover around in revision limbo.
My plan is to drown out the guilt and pressure with beer and Mexican food. My life would be so much easier if there were decent Mexican food around here.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Monday, July 26, 2010
This fucking kid...
Holy shit, let me tell you about This Fucking Kid (TFK).
TFK is in high school, and received some funding from the high skool to come and work in a lab. TFK chose our lab for some reason. Hooray for free slave labor, right?
Wrong. WRONG!
I've made it pretty clear that I like working with students. It means a lot to me, because I want kids to have a good experience in the lab - and not at all like some of the horrors I had to endure as an undergrad. I make sure to explain everything until they appear to understand, always ask if they have questions, and give them a sound foundation of methodological principles. At least I hope I do.
But This Fucking Kid officially wrecked my patience. Day one, I walked over to TFK and said, "OK! Ready to get to work?" TFK looks at me, eyes rolling, and says, "Not really."
Uh...
So I proceed to tell this kid my rules/expectations. They are as follows:
Rule 1: Our time is precious. If someone shows you a technique, he or she is taking time away from a project that needs to get done. Do not waste time. Respect this, and make sure to give thanks for the lesson. Once you have mastered the technique, ask your teacher if you can run any assays for him or her. Remember to give back.
Rule 2: TAKE NOTES. I don't care how kick ass a scientist you are, you are not going to remember a technique simply by observing, and learning by osmosis just isn't going to happen. Write shit down. If I get a reagent out of the fridge, write down which fridge it came from. Write down the shelf or box it was from. Look at the label, and copy down what is says on the label. Do this, and you will never have to ask where something is ever again. Write down when to turn on the heat block, or when to take things out to thaw. Take notes when I give you a little explanation of why I am doing something. If I draw out a figure for you, maybe keep it with your notes. I'm not doing this for fun. Your goal should be to take detailed enough notes that you can successfully complete a protocol with very minimal help the very first time you try it, because of Rule 1.
Rule 3: Don't fuck with anyone's shit. This is a blanket rule, and what I really mean is don't do anything that will compromise the results of a lab mate. Do not use a reagent that belongs to someone else without asking. Do not take something off someone's bench without asking. DO NOT TURN OFF A TIMER IF IT IS BEEPING (unless you write down the time you stopped it). Do not do a shitty job prepping lab stocks of media, autoclaved materials, etc.
TFK worked with me a few days, but never took notes. If I gave a recipe for a buffer, it was not written down (or not written down correctly). Eyes kept rolling. There was no enthusiasm. So finally, one hot afternoon around 4:30, the kid asked me if I could hang around for another two hours to finish an experiment because it was time to go home. This kid fucked around all afternoon, started this experiment too late, and expected me to finish things. I snapped.
Needless to say, TFK stays away from me these days. I heard, though, that the kid now takes excellent notes.
TFK is in high school, and received some funding from the high skool to come and work in a lab. TFK chose our lab for some reason. Hooray for free slave labor, right?
Wrong. WRONG!
I've made it pretty clear that I like working with students. It means a lot to me, because I want kids to have a good experience in the lab - and not at all like some of the horrors I had to endure as an undergrad. I make sure to explain everything until they appear to understand, always ask if they have questions, and give them a sound foundation of methodological principles. At least I hope I do.
But This Fucking Kid officially wrecked my patience. Day one, I walked over to TFK and said, "OK! Ready to get to work?" TFK looks at me, eyes rolling, and says, "Not really."
Uh...
So I proceed to tell this kid my rules/expectations. They are as follows:
Rule 1: Our time is precious. If someone shows you a technique, he or she is taking time away from a project that needs to get done. Do not waste time. Respect this, and make sure to give thanks for the lesson. Once you have mastered the technique, ask your teacher if you can run any assays for him or her. Remember to give back.
Rule 2: TAKE NOTES. I don't care how kick ass a scientist you are, you are not going to remember a technique simply by observing, and learning by osmosis just isn't going to happen. Write shit down. If I get a reagent out of the fridge, write down which fridge it came from. Write down the shelf or box it was from. Look at the label, and copy down what is says on the label. Do this, and you will never have to ask where something is ever again. Write down when to turn on the heat block, or when to take things out to thaw. Take notes when I give you a little explanation of why I am doing something. If I draw out a figure for you, maybe keep it with your notes. I'm not doing this for fun. Your goal should be to take detailed enough notes that you can successfully complete a protocol with very minimal help the very first time you try it, because of Rule 1.
Rule 3: Don't fuck with anyone's shit. This is a blanket rule, and what I really mean is don't do anything that will compromise the results of a lab mate. Do not use a reagent that belongs to someone else without asking. Do not take something off someone's bench without asking. DO NOT TURN OFF A TIMER IF IT IS BEEPING (unless you write down the time you stopped it). Do not do a shitty job prepping lab stocks of media, autoclaved materials, etc.
TFK worked with me a few days, but never took notes. If I gave a recipe for a buffer, it was not written down (or not written down correctly). Eyes kept rolling. There was no enthusiasm. So finally, one hot afternoon around 4:30, the kid asked me if I could hang around for another two hours to finish an experiment because it was time to go home. This kid fucked around all afternoon, started this experiment too late, and expected me to finish things. I snapped.
Needless to say, TFK stays away from me these days. I heard, though, that the kid now takes excellent notes.
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