Well, I re-submitted the vomit paper. I've been obsessively checking recent publications to see if Fuctardio scooped me - but nothing has come up yet. So it looks like I just might have beat that group of assholes. I am not sure, of course, but I'm trying to stay optimistic. For once.
Submitting a paper is shitty. I really don't understand why it should take so long to do, and why there are always problems uploading documents. Wrong format. Session timed out. Randomly omitting a figure file. It's fucking horrible! For some reason, I couldn't upload my shit at work - so I had to go home to submit my paper. This is the kind of shit that makes people crazy. My PI said that it was actually easier to submit when you had to physically mail in the draft and figures. Man, I love irony.
So here I am, finally at peace for the first time since about January. It's been a crazy year. I mean, I'm not really done yet - I have to give a lecture in a few weeks that I have not started preparing yet. But hey, at least it's better than writing a paper, addressing and writing a paper revision, written comps and oral comp exams.
I got the feeling earlier this year that the stress will never end. There will always be something that I have to do, things I have to put off until the last minute, and things that will keep me up at night. It's for real now, man. There's no stopping it. I am a scientist.
Fuck me. I thought I was doing this to avoid a real job for the rest of my life. It reminds me of a little poem I wrote a few years back:
As it turns out, I was mistaken.
The unifying theory to all I've said and done is this:
I am learned, but I will never learn.
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