Sunday, December 23, 2007

Unabashed worry

I spoke with the director of admissions at one of the universities that denied me admission last year. He said that there was nothing wrong with me, that the people who interviewed me recommended me enthusiastically for admission.

So what was the problem, then?

Apparently, two of my three recommendation letters were "superficial." This means that with my added experience, I should get accepted in the programs to which I applied. So people keep telling me.

It is the winter. My blood is cold. I can hardly fathom the spring. I can hardly fathom the idea that I didn't get in to school last year, so as far as I'm concerned, there's a really good chance that I will not this year either. It's really pressing down on me right now.

Oh, red wine! What would I do without thee?

I keep checking my email obsessively. I even checked to see what day I was notified of interviews last year. The time has passed for one school. For fuck's sake, I want to hear something. Something!

Fuck.

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