A Shitty Week

Before I started working in a lab, I was convinced that the researchers never really made mistakes. I mean, they are working with dangerous stuff, so it is important to be on the ball, right?

Yeah, uh, no.

Some of us like to get together to talk about our most ridiculous fuck-ups. One of my colleagues here in the lab obtained an antibody from another lab, took their word for it that there was actually antibody in the tube, and proceeded to lose six months trying to get it to work in biological assays. Another friend of mine was trying to mutate a gene, and spent three months trying to get it to work only to discover that she had prepared her primers backward. I've also sneezed while pouring super-highly concentrated hydrochloric acid, only to have it run down my arm and burn the fuck out of me. My arm was pink and sore for days.

Ah, science.

Though it usually ends up being a relatively funny anecdote, I still hate fucking up. This week, for example, was absolutely full of these horrid little disasters. I ruined one biological assay by not preparing enough sample to treat some cells. That was dumb. Then, in another biological treatment with really expensive, precious antibodies that I've been waiting for weeks to get, I just happened to add the wrong amount of protein to the samples. They are now useless. Useless! I have to do it all over again. I've lost another week. I would have actually done myself a favor by staying home and not even bothering to show up.

I keep getting visions of that fish at the end of Faith No More's Epic video.

It would be different if my project was going somewhere, but right now it's not. I know my boss is getting anxious, too. She's not digging my project at all. No one is, really - including me. This sucks. I suck.

Seriously.

Training

Somehow I got stuck training the new technician in our group. I'm fucking thrilled.

This was my first opportunity to teach someone in a lab setting. I've been schooled by some great people, and some fucking asshole douchebags, so I really wanted to pass on the tradition of a really good lab experience. Quite honestly, I almost left science because of the asshole teachers. So this was not a trivial thing that was set before me.

I've been training this person for two weeks. I had absolutely no idea how much time it was going to take. While I realize that not everyone is a genius, I did have a certain expectation of someone with a bachelor's degree in science. It is startling, to say the least. I've had to practically babysit Techie for the entire two weeks. My project is swirling around in the toilet, in shit purgatory, while I'm holding the tech's hand. Fuck.

We work with viruses in cell culture. Naturally, this means that we must be all anal about sterility. I have had to repeat this over and over and over and over. It's not getting through. The most fundamental rule of the lab is not getting through. I was amazed that I had to remind Techie, many times, about the importance of changing pipet tips after they have been used. Ok, so I've been working in labs for a handful of years now, but she watched me change tips. She's seen me do it. One reminder should be enough, people.

Imagine you're scooping up a vat of feces and hauling it around by truck. Would someone have to remind you to wash your hands before you got in the cabin? No. Do you use the same knife that you used to slice raw chicken when you go to chop your vegetables? No. This is not rocket science.

I had such high hopes, but Techie couldn't even make cell culture media. I think I'm going to lose it.